Step 1. Prepare For The Kiss
If you’re going to be kissing, it’s a good idea to do some hygiene prep ahead of time. Take a shower. Make sure you’ve brushed your teeth (and tongue!) well and keep breath mints or some other breath freshener handy. It’s also a good idea to keep some lip gloss or lip balm handy to rub on your lips before the big moment. Think about using cologne/perfume and lipstick to make you more desirable.
Step 2. Look Into Your Partner’s Eyes
To initiate a kiss, start by gazing into your partner’s eyes. Have you heard the phrase that the eyes are the windows to a person’s soul? It’s true. When you gaze into your partner’s eyes, you’ll learn their true feelings, emotions, and intentions. In an intimate situation, gazing into your partner’s eyes sends an intimate message, letting them know that you want to get closer. Make sure it’s a soft gaze and not like a stare down, which could immediately kill the mood.
Step 3. Smile
Offering a small, suggestive smile does wonders, particularly while gazing into their eyes. If you want to find out if you’re partner is interested, sending a suggestive smile will do the trick. If you get a smile back, you’re good to go. If your partner doesn’t smile back, looks down, or away, you probably want to back off.
Step 4. Lean In Closer
Now that you know you’re about to kiss, it’s time to make your move. To avoid awkwardness, move slowly. Moving in too fast can make your partner uncomfortable or make the kiss feel rushed. Remember that going in for a kiss doesn’t last long though, so you don’t want to move in slow motion and lose momentum here either. As you move in, make sure that you’re in a comfortable position.
Step 5. Light Touching
A nice touch (literally!) can really make it a perfect kiss. Women tend to respond to a light touch on her face as you move in or a gentle touch under her chin tilting it upward. A light touch such as this promotes the feeling of intimacy between the two of you. Men tend to respond to a more aggressive touch. Try putting your hands on his shoulders, then moving one up behind his head into his hair. If you’re feeling it, you could even pull his head closer. The key here is using your hands as part of the kiss as awkward hands can kill the mood.
Step 6. Tilt Your Head
Now that your faces are close together, it’s time to make sure that you’re aligned with your partner. Tilt your head slightly so that both of your lips are lined up and there’s no chance of a missed kiss or worse, bumping noses. Watch as you tilt to make sure that your partner has already tilted.
Step 7. Relax & Moisten Your Lips
Make sure that your lips are relaxed and not tightly pressed together. The perfect kiss is pleasant, with your lips softly pressed together.
Lightly moistened lips make for a better kiss, so keep lip balm close. You obviously won’t be able to whip out the lip balm when you’re “in the moment”, so prepare ahead of time. This is true for both men and women. If you’re caught off guard, a quick lick of the lips will work for women. Men, you want to keep your lips a bit drier, so don’t lick. Both men and women need to tread carefully here. Lips that are moistened too much can make for sloppy, slobbery kisses, while lips that are too dry make for unpleasant, rough kisses.
Step 8. Close Your Eyes
Close your eyes as you’re about to make contact. Some people feel awkward if their partner’s eyes are open, so this ensures that you’re both feeling comfortable in the moment. Besides, you’ll end up with a much more passionate kissing experience if you close your eyes and let the sensations move you and your lips. Remember, once you close your eyes; don’t open them until the kiss is over. Awkward stare-downs in the middle of the kiss when you’ve had your eyes closed will kill the mood.
Step 9. Part Your Lips
Part them slightly as you begin contact. Don’t open them too much or your partner may feel that you’re “swallowing” them or getting too intimate too fast. Don’t keep them too closed either though because your partner may get the impression that you’re not as “in” to this kiss as they are. Keep your lips fairly close together until you’re ready to move into the more intimate French kiss.
Step 10. The Kiss
It’s finally time for impact! Purse your lips slightly and gently touch them to your partner’s lips and you have the perfect kiss. After you’ve locked lips, don’t pull away too quickly. When you finally do pull away, a smile makes the perfect ending.
Step 11. Get Comfortable
Now that you’ve locked lips, get comfortable with lip-to-lip contact, then tentatively, slowly and lightly, draw your tongue slowly across the your partner’s lips. If you feel them press into the kiss more or move their tongue to your lips, you’re good to go. Slowly increase the intensity and depth of the kiss.
Step 12. Body Caress
Move from the light, gentle touching of a basic lip-to-lip kiss and start using your hands more. Suggestively caress your partner’s body, wrap your hands around their waist and move down to their butt. Run your fingers through their hair, gently tug at it, and pull them close. Any sensual touch, even as simple as running your hand up and down their back, increases the passion and intimacy of your kiss.
Step 13. Lick & Suck
If your partner lightly parts their lips, slowly explore their tongue in a light licking motion. You can also swirl your tongue along and around theirs.
After lightly licking your partner’s tongue, try lightly sucking on it, gently wrestling with it, and playfully tugging it with your tongue. A very gentle nibbling of your partner’s bottom lip can also add to the moment. Be sure not to bite though as it’s the ultimate kiss killer.
Step 14. Explore
Spend a bit of time exploring other areas of your partner’s mouth, such as lightly licking or gently tickling the roof of their mouth with your tongue. Another nice technique is to run your tongue along their teeth or bring your tongue out and run it along their lips.
Step 15. Finish the Kiss
Be sure not to pull away too quickly. You want to take your time and enjoy the kiss! When you do finally pull away, look your partner in the eyes again. A sensual caress after a French kiss provides the perfect ending.
Additional Kissing Tips
Tip: Kissing with Braces
Don’t go for the kiss too hard or too fast. Move slowly at first, especially if you’re new to braces.
It’s best to keep your mouth a bit wider, allowing your tongue to move easily between your partner’s teeth rather than across their braces. Once you get started though, go for it! And if you both have braces, rest assured that they will NOT get stuck together. 🙂
If you find that the texture really bothers you, try dental wax to smooth out the braces.
One last tip… because food can easily get caught in braces, pay close attention to your oral hygiene when kissing with braces.
Tip: Oral Hygiene for Kissing
Oral hygiene is probably the number one kiss killer. Bad breath or a foul tasting mouth due to that lunch you had earlier could turn your partner away. Always brush, floss, and use mouthwash when you know you’ll be locking lips. Don’t have time or caught off guard? Carry a quick fix like Listerine’s Pocketpaks, PocketMist, or some breath mints.
Tip: Setting the Mood
All you really need is a private place (in most cases!) for a good kissing session, but of course there are some additional things that you can do to set the mood:
- a comfortable place
- soft, romantic music
- low lighting or candles