Not sure if you’ve been properly alerted, but people still can’t seem to shut up about anal sex. What does that mean for you? Maybe … nothing. If backdoor-things are a hard no for you, you’re fine, just don’t do it. However … if you’d like to start exploring that particular nether region, but neither of you are quite ready for a full-on penis — or penis-like thing — going up there, try easing into it with some pre-anal.
Your bum is rich in nerve ending for both men and women, so for your first try at things, you don’t even need go in — just hit the nearby real estate. Lie him on his back for a BJ. When he is super turned on, gently press a vibrator to the area between his balls and his butt. Keep sucking and stroking, while experimenting with vibe patterns and pressure and watching how he reacts (99 percent chance that reaction will be: “Holy f*ck! I’m coming!”). Have him do the same for you because, fairness.
Phase two is fingers. If you are the type who wipes down their cart at Target, either skip phase two, or wear some lubed-up gloves. Lie on your sides facing each other like an X-rated yin and yang symbol, and toy with each other’s front-junk while experimenting with a (well-lubed!) finger or two up the bum when things start getting serious. Don’t like it? Pull back and try next time. Or don’t. With butt sex, you get to make your own rules.
Double Butt Bang
Make some initial exploratory journeys via toy. Not only do you not actually have to put fingers or mouth down there if you’re not feeling it, but a curved vibrating toy will work magic for relaxing very tight muscles. Find something super thin and, if it’s an issue for your partner, decidedly non-penis-looking. Lube the living hell out of it and do a reach-around to slide it on in. If you hit your dude’s prostate (aka the p-spot), he may get super, super hard. If you keep doing it while he’s inside you, he may also have a beyond-huge orgasm. (P.S. this totally works on you too. Go for a trifecta with clit stim, the bum thing, plus internal stimulation — via toy or finger. Oh. My. God.)
Park and Ride
Get into reverse cowgirl and when you feel ready, have him slowly insert a string of high quality beginner anal beads. When he’s ready, do the same for him (different beads — everyone gets their own jewelry when it’s anal.) The slow part is important — the idea is to get a feel of how much you can take and noticing whether you like the feeling or not. You can insert and remove them as you go or leave them in, sliding them out right before orgasm to intensify the experience.