The way to a man’s heart isn’t through his stomach—or even his pants. It’s through his skin. Once you learn the art of erotic touch (don’t worry, it’s not rocket science), you’ll not only give him the time of his life in bed, you’ll also feel closer to him than you have in, oh, years.
Our entire erotic massage ritual takes 30 minutes, but in this relatively short time you’ll manage to hit all the erogenous zones you know about—and dozens you don’t. You’ll need some oil and a warm room, and it may feel sexy to ask questions as you go (“How does this feel?” “Do you like that?”)—though silence can be just as steamy.
Pre-Massage: The Pep Talk (And the Prep)
Amazingly, some men may balk at the idea of receiving an erotic massage. If your husband is reluctant to being rubbed and cherished for a half hour, simply say, “Try this for me. No strings attached. If you hate it after five minutes, we’ll stop.” Men, strangely, often need to be pulled to heaven, kicking and screaming the whole way. But if he’s a willing participant, get him to do a few minutes of simple stretching beforehand. Have him prepare his body the same way he’d get ready for a run: a few lunges to loosen the legs, a few arm twirls for the arms and back. His circulation will improve, and his muscle tension will ease up.
Start at the Top
For five minutes: Have him lie face up on the bed; position yourself behind his head. (Since this is only a 30-minute massage, we’re not including the back. But it has a few major erogenous zones there—shoulder blades, lower back, butt—if you have some extra time.) Begin scratching his scalp with your nails. Trace the folds of his ears, the contours of his cheekbones and nose. Then place your palms on the back of his head, as if you were holding a cantaloupe in cupped hands. Where his neck meets the skull, you’ll find little hollows in the bone. These hollows—acupressure points, actually—are little-known erogenous zones. To give them their due, put your fingertips on them and gradually increase the pressure. Then grasp his head at the jaw and pull it toward you gently, stretching his neck muscles. “By pressing the points and stretching muscles, you’ll increase his circulation and awaken his senses,” says acupressure expert Michael Reed Gach, Ph.D.
The Third Eye (center of the forehead, directly between the eyebrows) and the temples (at the sides of the forehead) are other acupressure points. Gently press the Third Eye for 60 seconds; then lightly rotate your fingers on his temples for 30 seconds. This will relieve tension and allow sexual excitement to flow.
For three minutes: Now it’s time to focus on the hip region. The area that runs from the belly button to the genitalia is an erogenous zone, so don’t neglect it. Start with the navel itself: circle the rim of an innie, or the base camp of an outie (a direct hit might give your husband the willies). Three or four finger-widths down from there, you’ll find a super-important spot acupressurists call the Gate of Origin, right over the bladder. Press it very gently (if he didn’t pee before the massage began, he may need to now) to “open sexual energy,” says Gach. AKA: it’s going to really turn him on.
“You’ll also find acupressure points where the legs join the trunk of the body (those thick tendons in the groin). Lean into them gradually with the heel of your hand,” advises Gach. “Ask your partner to breathe into your hands; hold this position for a minute or two.” By this point, his sexual energy will be flowing like a raging river.
For seven minutes: Moving right along to his upper body. It may seem like a lot of flesh to press in a short time, but you’ll be surprised how quickly you glide. Position yourself at his side, and “use full-hand contact whenever possible,” advises Kenneth Ray Stubbs, Ph.D., a Tucson sexologist. Slide your hands to the shoulder/upper-chest area. The Shoulder Well, an acupressure point in the middle of the tendons on either side of the base of the neck, needs to be kneaded: “This area is a real tension center, but only work on it for a minute,” says Gach. “Longer than that and he might get a headache.”
Then pay attention to the clavicle: The indentations below the collarbone are unsung erogenous zones. Press them gently with your thumb and forefinger. Then move to the center of the breastbone, right over the heart, and feel for a dimple in the bone. This acupressure point is called the Sea of Tranquility, and it’s a heavy-duty relaxation trigger. When pressed with your fingers, it’ll ease tension in his chest.
Now it’s time for the oil. Pour some on his upper chest, and using what Stubbs calls a connecting stroke (long, fluid, flat-handed rub), move from his breastbone over to the nipples. Nipples—another erogenous zone, as we know—are also acupressure points. To heat his blood, gently pinch the nub and roll (this is key—don’t twist the thing clean off his body) the flesh between your thumb and index finger.
Next, drag your hands toward one of his arms. There are two hot spots on the limb, namely the armpit and the crook inside the elbow. You’ll notice that these are both creases: All creases are erogenous zones (the butt crack, the underside of the knee, where the thigh meets the pelvis, where the ear meets the skull). Tickling creases may induce giggles, so stick to what Stubbs calls feather strokes, or lightly dragging your fingertips over the skin. Rub each arm, then give him a quick hand/finger massage.
The Really Erotic Part
For 10 minutes: By now you’re about halfway through the massage—a good point to start getting more sensual. “You want your partner to be sufficiently relaxed and aroused before you go near the genital area,” says Stubbs. He’ll like just about anything you do to this region, but there are definitely some spots you shouldn’t miss:
- Glans: The head of the penis is keenly sensitive. Consider it the male counterpart to a woman’s clitoris.
- Coronal ridge: The ridge where the glans curves in to meet the shaft is a band of erotic electricity, particularly at the spot known as the…
- Frenulum: Found at 12 o’clock on the underside of the shaft, this fingernail-size spot is the center of his universe.
- Raphe: This midline seam on the underside of the penis is exquisitely sensitive—a zipper of nerve endings.
- Scrotal Sac: Gentle touching, please. You’ll know you’re doing it right when the scrotum tightens and contracts as if it were dancing.
- Seminal vesicles: On the sides of the scrotal sac, the vesicles feel like little twigs. You can feel them turn rigid under your fingertips.
- Male G-spot: To find it, search the muscular band of flesh that runs from the base of the scrotum to the anus for a slight indentation about the size of a dime. Pressing this dimple indirectly stimulates the prostate gland, as well as the inner base of the penis itself.
Here’s one sample itinerary for hitting all the hot spots on your tour. You’ll need lubrication and (honestly) a few tissues. Start by leaning his penis against his belly. Using a little lubrication, stroke the underside from base to tip for a couple of minutes. Then, with a heavy hand, slide your fingers from the glans along the raphe, down to the scrotum. Think of this as the teasing portion of the genital massage. Lightly drag your fingernails upward, from the base of the scrotum toward the head of the penis. Gently roll his testicles in your palm. Fiddle with the hardened seminal vesicles. This’ll drive him nearly mad.
If you do like to talk, now would be a good time to say something admiring. Then proceed to the male G-spot, as pressing it gently with the thumb for six seconds at a time enhances a man’s reproductive health and makes him twitchy with desire. To reach it, ask your husband to rest his ankles on your shoulders while you kneel between his legs. Lean forward so that his knees bend toward his chest. Search with your thumb for the dimple described above. If you can’t find the exact spot, place the heel of your hand on the whole area. Apply pressure and send him into orbit.
By this time, he’ll probably be more than ready for you to get back to the penis. Try these two strokes, suggested by Stubbs: the Juicer and the Serpent.
Juicer: Hold the base of the shaft with the right hand (using it to pull down the foreskin, if there is one). With the left hand hovering over the shaft like a parachute, grasp the coronal ridge with your fingertips and rotate your left wrist, twisting the hand and moving it up and down as though you were juicing an orange.
Serpent: Grasp the shaft with the right hand, as with the Juicer. With the left hand, hook your index finger and thumb just below the coronal ridge, then snake your fingers around his penis as far as the wrist will allow. Give him a sample of each stroke, and see which feels better for him. Repeat. Repeat some more. Soon, your husband will have a powerful orgasm. Take a moment, then wipe him off with a tissue.
Unlike your usual routine, this erotic massage does not end five seconds after his climax. It’s more like five minutes, so now’s the time to show some more love to his legs, ankles, and feet. Do some connecting strokes along his thighs, and bend his knees so you can reach the soft skin on the back of his legs. Right at the inner knee crease, give him a feather stroke, then knead his calf and thigh muscles.
After a big O, tickling his ankles and Achilles tendon (another erogenous zone) will result in a deeply contented sigh. The pad underneath the big toe is also a hot spot (in fact, the feet are covered with acupressure points), so give it a squeeze. A final stroke, which Stubbs refers to as slithering, is the perfect end: Put your index finger between his big and next toe. With a well-oiled hand, turn your wrist side-to-side as you lift your finger so that you’ll slither out of the confinement of his toes. Do this for each in-between space of both feet.
And there you have it. By treating him to a rubdown, you’ll be giving him the heart-on of his life, as any massage you give or receive will be more intense and satisfying than your regular sex routine. Just remind him that it’s your turn next time.