1. “It’s a big city and you have the opportunity to meet new people constantly!” 

Hahaha…no. Current mood 24/7:

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2. You’re so used to the online dating game that your small talk skills are on. Point. 

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3. Dating outside of your borough is basically a long-distance relationship, so bring a book on your *one hour* train ride. 

Also, prepare to never see your friends again until their next birthday.

4. Those people who can’t commit because the 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. work/life struggle is too real. 

But don’t take it personally. It may be you at some point, too.

5. That awkward public-transit moment before you part ways on your first date. 

“Do we kiss? Do we not kiss? Do we hug? Do we side hug (Please God, no)?”

6. Realizing that your date has five roommates and that sleepovers are your special burden from now on.

Hope your room is clean!

7. Realizing that the beautiful model who swiped right is also a commitment-phobe who plans to ghost you into oblivion. 

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

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